Good Old Jokes.....

Remembering old kick-ass jokes before they get forgotten for good..

During the class, a boy comes in late...
teacher: Where have you been?
boy1: on top of Blueberry Hill...

another boy comes in
teacher: Where have you been?
boy2: on top of Blueberry Hill...

another boy comes in
teacher: Where have you been?
boy3: on top of Blueberry Hill...

a girl comes in
teacher: Where have you been? Don't tell me "on top of Blueberry Hill"
girl: i am Blueberry Hill...


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during an ambush interview as an advertisement for Milo...

Interviewer: oh sige, kung makapagbibigay ka ng maganda at unique na acronym para sa MILO, mabibigyan ka ng 5,000 pesos.

Ale: Masarap Inumin Lasang Ovaltin



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During a rehearsal for a Christmas presentation, a boy playing the role of Joseph completely ruins the script by not remembering his line and giving inappropriate adlibs. He's been cajoled by the teacher many times, but to no avail. The teacher has decided to give him the role of the owner of the inn since there's only 2 words to say: None, sorry.



During the presentation, everybody was enjoying and the play was doing good so far.. when mary and joseph reached the inn, knocked on the door, and asked the owner for an available room, the answer was quick... "yes, plenty."



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girl: mirror mirror on the wall, make my boobs as big as soccer balls

mirror: ching! wish granted

(the girl got what she wanted...)



boy: mirror mirror on the wall, make my penis reach the floor

mirror: ching! okay

(the boy's legs got shorter)



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JEEPNEY MOMENTS

i hate it...

~when i'm already late and the driver stops by to wait for more passengers. i can't resist stomping my feet or giving a loud sigh.

~when the passenger next to me pokes me just to hand his fare.

~when people just stare at my extended arms not getting my fare and not passing it forward.

~when the passenger beside me keeps on looking at me, thinking i'm reading his text messages or what he's typing. duhh.. i have a life!

~when i'm almost hanging on for support either because the driver said there's still space when there's none or because some parents let their kids sit when they didn't pay for them.

~when a couple in front of me start making out!

~when some teenager plays music loudly inside the jeepney thinking it's his room.

~when a drunk person beside me falls asleep and starts leaning on my back or shoulder.

~when the driver didn't hear me saying "para!", so i'm a hundred steps away from my destination.

~when i stood in line for almost 20 minutes and some rude person just get inside the jeepney not falling in line.

~when it's raining and i dont have an umbrella, and passengers have to fall in line to wait for jeepneys.

~when the driver is not giving my change after 4 times of reminding him about it.

~when the jeep is starting to move and i'm not yet out of the jeep.

i laughed...

~when a passenger about to get off the jeep said "manong babay!" instead of "manong para"


i got embarassed...
~when i handed tissue paper to a weeping old lady inside the jeep and she just ignored it.

~when i asked the driver for my change when he had already given it.

~when i shouted "para" yet it's not yet my destination, so i told the driver to "continue".